Thought for the new year
Sometimes those fortune cookies hit the nail directly on the head.
Any impatience you show will only create more stress.
Funny how those mass produced indonesian stuffing papers for fried and plastic wrap cookie type products seem to hit the nail on the head, happy new year.
Holidays.
Merry Christmas
Happy Hanukkah
I’d mention Kwanzaa, but any holiday invented by right wing white men in the 60s to quell social unrest is not really a holiday.
Happy Boxing Day (or, after christmas shopping day, or whatever the hell that is.)
It’s ok to say christmas, please remember that, it’s ok to say Hanukkah, it’s ok to not know if someone is christian or jewish, it’s ok to celebrate family over religion, it’s ok to be good to one another, and drink (in moderation, no kid wants the drunkard daddy), it’s ok to have fun.
That’s what holidays are, fun and family and friends and drink. Maybe with a fat man in a red suit and gifts or Hanukkah Harry stopping by or whatnot.
But not Kwanzaa, just because we all hate stuffy white people who think they have all the answers.
Celebrate.
What all holidays should be, claymated.
Mechagovernment Kills Snowzilla
An Alaskan family has made it tradition to build a giant snowman in their yard, by giant, we’re speaking a 16-foot tall snowman. Fucking awesome, right?
Nope.
City Officials have deemed that building an awesome fucking snowman on one’s own property is a nuisance and annoyance because… holy shit… people might actually want to see it. Apparently traffic from all seven eskimos in Alaska coming to see this thing is so bad that it blocked one of the streams they canoe on for 3 or 4 minutes and two salmon complained.
Ok, I really have no idea what it’s like in Alaska, but who cares, the point is that someone wants to do something as awesome as build a 16-foot snowman, and some bitches complained because of some traffic, so it was torn the fuck down. Furthering the trend that anytime anyone does anything awesome, it must be stopped because we’ve been sliding towards communism for years and no one is allowed to do anything kickass that might outshine another person and their pathetic boring existance.
Anytime anyone does anything cool, a good halloween display (WITCHES ARE STILL NOT FUCKING REAL), some awesome christmas lights or HOLY FUCK A 16-FOOT TALL SNOWMAN someone has to ruin it, just for some company to steal the idea and charge $20/carload to see the fucking thing.
We’re one small step away from “your neighbor has 13 square feet less footing in their house than you, so we’re tearing down the whole neighborhood and installing track housing” at this fucking point.
Or, maybe all my post-Palin acknowledgements of “let’s sell Alaska to the Russians” is right on the mark.
Free Snowzilla.
Wait, What Just Happened?
Is this like some wierd Christmas Miracle or something? Did the Grinch’s heart grow three sizes today? All in all, it’s time to embrace the future, change is in the air… something like that….
The RIAA ends litigation suits, finds new ways to battle piracy:
And to let this pass, a quote that appears this week in our local liberal hippie bullshit freepaper:
“Music is everybody’s possession. It’s only publishers who think that people own it” -John Lennon
Continuing on, after a bit of discussion, a few points to make (mirroring a bit of what was said on Maps about the Guns N Roses release)… Looking at where the industry stands now, with the severe lack of interesting music coming out and severely shrinking sales, for there to be music, there has to be a working business model that is forward thinking, because fighting technology has caused a lot of these problems even more than the piracy. It’s time to consolidate and get back to basics here. Give people a product that they will want to have, to hold, at a price that makes it worthwhile and not disgusting. For a lot of people the days of the album are over, thanks to portable devices, the single is key, focus your pop stars and whatnot on good single releases, and release a lot of them. The days of the overindulgent pop stars is done though, that’s not in the budget, welcome back to the 1950s…
It’s time to start again, not many get fresh beginnings, maybe it should be embraced. My one idea, bring back proper A&R, find those artists who are capable of growing beyond fads and such, help them do what they should do… it’s just an idea, but look at the quality of things from the 60s and 70s and then watch A&R die and look what came after… just saying…
MKV/I Don’t Speak Crazy/Bailout Mashup
From Gizmodo (video available on the site):
I’m trying to put together the implications that arise from having a personal sentinel at your disposal. I’m thinking putting one in the frontyard, RFIDing the family and pets and seeing if all other visitors stand a chance against that monster.
Through browsing, I found this $cientology email from actress Leah Remini. I’d tell you what it was about but my crazy-to-english translation guide is still in the mail. The gist i’m getting though is that she had a party that no one came to, that these losers need to pony up the cash to be allowed to come to her next party, and a lot of people still use 9/11 as their fallback… Something like that.
This was just emailed to me, sums up the bailout plan pretty well methinks:
Bailout details
Again.
28 Years is a long time, 28 to forget, 28 to always remember. Goodbye again John. For many of us born after the Kennedys and MLK, this is our moment that should not be tossed away cheaply. It’s been a long time.
It was 30 years ago today
I’m heading out to Satan*Mart before work, picking up some dixie cups and Grape Kool-Aid for the masses. Something to boost spirits in these tough economic times…
Jonestown: Never Forget
Yes We Did.
The division lines here at work today are insane. I’ve been called a sheep within minutes of arriving, and at the same time, fell in with a bunch of screaming celebrating workers here.
It feels good to be on the winning side for the first time in a long time.
We went to our polling station after work, got in and out, no problem, but one thing i noticed as we were leaving, my ballot was number 1175 for our small section of Western Mass. The only reason this stands out in my mind is that four years ago, when we went to vote for the last presidential election, my ballot was around number 400-something. Both times we went afterwork, around 5:30 at night, hell, probably nearly the same exact time, and neither time was there lines to contend with.
Did we really more than double the amount of voters since last time? If so, that is huge. Good job America.
The house was glued to election coverage, especially CNN’s freakish hologram technology (for a moment, I thought we were planning an invasion of Alderan or something - errr, did i just screw up a Star Wars reference?) and Comedy Central’s Colbert/Stewart coverage. The boy woke up around 10:30 not able to get comfortable/sleep, so he came in and chilled in bed with us as the 11:00 hour rang out and the announcement was made moments later. A small celebration ensued and we crashed hard, knowing well that while nothing is going to change anytime in the near future, change is on the way.
We have a big hole to crawl out of, this last 8 years haven’t been good to anyone, and it’s going to be a lot of hard work to get out of it. I know in my personal case, I could be out of work anyday now, my company is struggling and last week everything felt like the end of all things, but it’s a new week and things are different.
Just stop for a moment, take a deep breath, look around. Feel that? There’s something in the air that wasn’t before, it’s called hope. It’s going to be gone soon and hating the government will be coming around again, but for the moment, let’s just enjoy it
Tick Tock
The clock is spinning, there’s only so many hours in the day available to change the world, maybe it’s worth rushing for. Being one of many people who could see his company go under because of how this world is, trying to change the world could be a good thing.
Tick Tock, before you know it, it’ll be 8:00 and all change for the day will be off the table… so hurry.
Later: Umm, who is Stewart talking to here? (yes, i’ve always held) off my gaming to vote, i’m a good american subserviant.
Infomercial
Barack sold himself pretty well for being “common folk” last night, but he so didn’t take it far enough. He should have gone all out into infomercial land. Here’s a few ideas I came up with that would have sold his product a little better
- Have Sally Struthers introduce all of the “common Americans” Barack spoke of, and assist in eating their meager amounts of food.
- George Forman cooking more chicken for everyone on his grill, to make up for Struthers
- Ginsu knives… lots of them.
- Lots of moons and moving stars in the background, like old Miss Cleo ads.
- Richard Simmons
- Billy Mayes proving that he can remove GWB’s Cheeto stains from The White House carpet in a half an hour using Oxyclean
- Ron Popeil telling the television audiences to not fear electronic voting booths anymore, they’ll all be made by RONCO now.
- All music performed by the God of infomercials… ESTEBAN!
Go ahead, laugh, but you know you would have watched the shit out of it.
I just noticed I had 8 items up there, two more and Letterman could completely rip me off tonight. C’mon, i’m waiting for it…